The Unwritten Truth of Missionaries

Who are missionaries to you?

Are they the people you pray for at church? The people whose pictures are pinned up on the world map?  The people you send care packages to with your bible study?

The tagline on my blog is “I am a girl with a mission”. I didn’t even know why until I wrote this post. I feel like my mission is to tell everybody about the rollercoaster that is the mission field. I don’t know about you, but up until the day my family left for French learning in France, I only knew missionaries as the people whose picture was pinned up on the world map at our church. They would visit and tell about their journey, but that was it. They were just the people who, you know, do good stuff for the church and blah blah blah. Which I’m sure you know are more than that, but my little brain didn’t want to hold on to more on the matter.

Something I am really passionate about is sharing about our journey through and on the mission field because I feel that all the people who donate toward our mission, send us lovely packages, and take time out of their day to pray for our safety and well being deserve to know the honest truth of what it’s like to live out here.

Throughout my blog, for a few months, I have been hinting at how things have not been going the best. And maybe it’s about time I just confirm that it stinks. It really does. I like to make super upbeat posts and I most likely will have a smile on my face when you meet me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

One of the things that gets me the most is when my friends post group pictures on social media. To see them all together, it makes me want to be there more than ever. I have learned to accept why we are here and why we can’t leave, but everytime I see one of those pictures it breaks my heart all over again.

It hurts when all you want is to see your dear friend’s face and all you can see is the reconnection symbol because Chadian wifi is the most unreliable thing there is.

It hurts when you go to the grocery store and you get asked a simple question and you have no idea what they said and even a less idea what to say back to them.

It hurts when you have to do school alone when you’re used to being surrounded by kids your age.

It hurts to see cute outfits on social media and know that you can’t get or wear that for a good while.

On the mission field you are constantly meeting new people. Or talking to people from your church. Often the little comment is made “I’m sure it was hard to transition into Chad.” and I just think “You have no idea.”

I think I am speaking for a lot of missionaries when I say, please pray for our journey and how it affects us. Any prayers are wonderful but something that I think is very important is to pray that we are strong enough just to be here.

That said, I know why I am here. We all do. There is no way we would have ended up here if God hadn’t called us. And though times are harder than we imagined, God has a plan.

I am constantly struggling and constantly needing to remind myself of the “WHY”. I wonder why God would want us here struggling.

Then it all made sense. I have started doing little devotionals at night from a little book called “Walking By Faith”,and one night I read something that changed my view entirely on this whole situation. It said:

“The dark moments of our life will last only as long as necessary

for God to accomplish His purpose in us.”

That very moment it all made sense. It was like a little smack in the face. “Wake up Abby! Are you there? This is the WHY!”

God placed me here for a reason, not just my family but ME. I have barely figured that out yet but I will, because there definitely is something.

We all have things happen that are not in our favor. Things that are harder than we think we can take. But look to Him because all those hard times are less than a second compared to the time we can spend with Him.

I hope you like today’s rant. I am not even sue what this post is supposed to mean but I think God took the wheel a bit, so it’s got to mean something.

My point is that being on the mission field isn’t some dream come true or big “adventure”. That’s one of the things that really bugs me. We are often told “This is such a cool adventure”. Which is kind of true, but that makes it seem like we are starring in a Dora the Explorer episode or something.

And after everything that we go through it all seems worth it for the rush God puts into us of thinking, “Wow, God really wants me here. My creator of the entire universe called ME.”

Lots of Love – Abby<3

P.S. If you have anything you’re curious about with our mission, lives, or anything at all, just ask. I am looking for new article ideas and I am happy to talk about whatever you want to hear! ❤


17 thoughts on “The Unwritten Truth of Missionaries

  1. I was blessed by reading your honest feelings Abby (with tears)May the LORD give you strength each day. Since you love to write maybe keeping a Thankful journal might lift your spirit.


  2. Abigail, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. Absolutely love you more than cheese. I will continue to pray for strength, health, safety, and for good friends to come into Olivia’s and your lives. Reading each of the blogs is a blessing. I can hear your voice in each word. G’m. I feel sad when I read about you missing your friends. I hope you know that they also wish you were right in those pictures With them. Lately I’ve been thinking about the rock game and if ARRRRRT is still Liv’s favorite subject. It kind of stinks here too, ’cause you guys are so far away. G’p


  3. Thank you for opening your heart and thoughts in this post. I could comment a lot but will say I have asked God to remind me to pray especially for the missionary children. Amazing how often He reminds me to pray! When missionary children are happy & well then their parents can also do the work they have been called to do by God. I pray each morning ” Lord, let the words of my mouth, the meditations of my heart and the actions of my body glorify you giving you the praise, glory and adoration you deserve. Help me to shine for you, Lord Jesus, so you are seen and not me.”
    As to not knowing what to say or how to say something a friendly smile goes a long ways. From experience those people understand more than you know when love and care is given to them.
    I know about the loneliness, feeling out of it about the styles etc plus not having classmates. So glad you have your sister and you live in a bigger city rather than out in the bush area where there is even more isolation.
    I am glad you have this blog!
    Praying for you.


    1. That so nice to hear Mrs. Swanson. It is so cool that you went through these same things just at a different time. I am sure Chad is very different from when you were last here! Thank you for all the prayers, it really means alot.


  4. Hey Abby, I completely understand what your going through. Especially the part of friends sharing group pictures. It gets so lonely, and you feel isolated from everyone in the world. You say that transition is hard, and honestly, I don’t exactly know how hard transition is for people, because in a way, I’m used to it. But moving schools is still not easy. Especially if you’re doing homeschool. I often think, “Wow, Abby is so lucky to have a sister, at least she has someone else to talk with, besides parents.” It’s hard being an only child and being homeschooled. I also struggle with new stuff on social media. My friend was telling me about how one of our old teachers who is pretty old was doing something called a “dab” and I had, have, no clue what it means. It’s hard not knowing the language well enough to have a chat with someone. One of the phrases that I use the most is “I don’t understand.” So yes, in short, it’s hard to live in a 3rd world country.


  5. Wow. I can only imagine the difficulties of transitioning into something like this, but it is so cool of you to confront the fact that you don’t like everything about your situation. This post was so honest and I loved it. My prayers are with you and the other missionaries 💗

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was a great read Abby, well written and in such a matter-of-fact style♡
    You’re a brave and strong young lady, it showed in this article. I find myself wondering what the scenery is like and what everything smells like at your home there?
    Lots of love,


    1. So glad you liked it!! I will be writing an article about the city soon. And as for the smell, It’s not bad. It is usually not different from anywhere else, but every once in awhile you will catch a couple odd smells : )


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